Losowe angielskie dowcipy
Man's best friend ->
Bartender looks down to the end of the bar and sees a guy with his head down who hasn't touched his drink for over a half an hour. He heads over to talk to him. Bartender: "Hey pal, is something wrong?" The Guy: "Yeah, I'm really depressed" Ba... [ca³y ->]
Clinton Q -n A's! ->
Q: What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us? A: In order for us to get some dick in the White House, we had to go out and vote. Q: How will history remember Bill Clinton? A: The President after Bush. Q: What's the diff... [ca³y ->]
Your mom is soooo fat... ->
Your mom is so fat, I can get morning exercise by running around here!... [ca³y ->]
Got Milk? ->
When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of mil... [ca³y ->]
Elephant Jokes Eight ->
Q: Why do elephants have trunks? A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments. Q: What do you do when you come across an elephant? A: Wipe it off! Q: Have you heard about Hannibal crossing the Alps with elephants? A: None of the ... [ca³y ->]
OH MY GOD! ->
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 293, nonstop from New York ... [ca³y ->]
Not so wise ->
In a small southern town I saw a wonderful nativity scene, but one feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a convenience store on the edge of town, I asked the... [ca³y ->]
The Cat And the Milkman ->
Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lu... [ca³y ->]
The Night Before Christmas ->
Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, ... [ca³y ->]
More great Blonde shorties! ->
How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow stepped on her. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes! What is it when a blonde blows into anotherblondes ear? Data transfer. What did the blonde say when she found out she ... [ca³y ->]
Bucket ->
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit? A: The bucket.... [ca³y ->]
Careful Now ->
Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates." The woman replies, "Yes...And we're going to be careful not... [ca³y ->]
ABC's ->
Student: Can I use the bathroom? Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's. Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ Teacher: Where's the P? Student: Its running down my leg!... [ca³y ->]
Mom Before Date ->
Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date? A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.... [ca³y ->]
What A Party! ->
After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, "What the hell happened?" "As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied the wife. "Piss on him," answered ... [ca³y ->]